|
|
September, 2007    連日來報紙有如連續劇般報導殺警案的聆訊。 香港的司法制度是先假設疑犯無罪，然後用各方向的証據証明他有罪 。 這點跟國內相反，國內的司法是先假設犯人有罪，然後被告要續一証明 自己無罪。 除步高在尖沙咀殺警失手，死於槍下。 死後所有的罪名浮現，不論傳媒或警方都把他跟之前的殺警案及銀行械 劫案畫上等號。 事實上，聆訊的內容似乎都已經認定了除步高是兇手 ，只是每天搬出証據來說服他人。 其實同一件紅衣、同一雙球鞋 、同用左手的人在世上又有多少？ 是不是只有他才有？我並不是想為除步高辯護。 而是我覺得現在的審訊根本就是"得啖笑"，死者而已 ，你可以為他添上一千個罪名，反正真相只有天曉得。 審訊令我想起了一個兒時聽過的故事。 故事是說有一個人他覺得鄰居的兒子是賊，無論那小孩是走路或吃飯 ，一舉手一投足都像賊。 現在的情況如是，審訊的感覺是很國內的，大家都已經覺得他是犯人了 ，你在他家找出大大少少的証據，對號入坐，不要問，只要信 ，最後給他一個蓋棺定論，案件可能就此完結。 可是真相早已跟他一起埋在地下。 徐步高事件，經過連日的調查，發現他可能患有人格分裂；而他之所以有此病，其中一個原因是由於仕途不得意。我同樣事業運極差，工作了七年一事無成，於是我在心中也經常問： １．為什麼我總不能到人工高，褔利好的公司工作？
２．我比任何人都努力，為什麼升職的永遠不是我？
３．為什麼付出的與收穫好像沒有一點關係？
４．我也很想不需轉工，但為什麼上天總是愛作弄人？
５．天將降大任於斯人，必先勞其肋骨。但不是勞得太久了嗎？ 這一連串的問題經常在我的腦中徘徊，如果我不懂想開，恐怕我同樣人格分裂。幸運的是我一直有好友、家人開解，同時自己也學會看開一點，欣賞自己擁有的多一點。其實做人最重要學會順應環境，在既定的事實上尋找快樂；目標是要緊持，但明白時機未到，耐心等候才是至高境界。 人生漫長，成敗不足以論英雄，亦不在於眼前，最重要活得快樂！  
April, 2007 
习惯了一个人到处走走停停，相信人的一生就是一次孤单旅行；而生命的
旅程就像单行道，一往直前。在旅途上，听各种各样的音乐，寻找那些散落在世界各个角落里的声响， 世界太黑暗’現在我想去找寻一點安全感。
My End Journey Starts Here. Is't the night view as beautiful as it is ? Apprantely, all that left for me to say doesn't need to say anysmore. Night is tearing my heart step by step Until one day, i lose everything. March, 2007 
记忆里，年少的我喜欢独自走长长的一段路，穿过逼仄的走廊，在兜转的楼梯里乐此不疲的奔跑。这是一个孩子的游戏，一个寻找与发现的情感隐匿。人总是会在不知所措的时候重复做同一件事情，比如喝水，比如沉默，比如喋喋不休。这是一种自我保护的安全感，一种心安理得的习惯。我总喜欢把想不明白的东西写下来，期待在另一个时间得到答案。总觉得写下来了，心也就放下了；这或许是自我安慰。我们总是过分相信自己的认知，甚至依赖。对待事物的看法也过于绝对，并深信不疑。只是在不同的情绪下，一切都在改变。 In my earlier childhood, I persist my own dreams by walking alone to deal with situation and circumstance. Therefore, walking alone from the old days really makes me feel that " Life's should be someone there beside you to hold u apart from spirits" I don't remember much about my own childhood, but i did alot's of creativity. Life repeat many rhythms like drinking water and taking a rest. Everyday woke up from bed is actually a brand new day. However, i liked to use a pencil and a piece of paper to write down what i had been through in the past. Apparently, this makes me a very memorable person. I can't let go things easily like a female does. When i say goodbye to my childhood, " it means that i have grown up already " I can't return to my past, everything is different now. February, 2007 
在喧嚣的锣鼓声中，在灿烂的烟火里，在亲人和朋友的祝福迎来了人生里第二个本命年。其实自己对于本命年还是有一点惧怕，不知为何，心中总有一丝丝不安的感觉。一种对过往的不舍，对未来的惶恐，但不管怎样，我都会义无返顾，一往直前。因为心中对未来的期许，对内心的渴望从未放弃。 November, 2006 
“ 重覆的每一天 …… 每一年,我带着所有幻想和期盼
在遥远的天边,我看见 ……
阳光曾带走衰老的今天
又一个欲望悄然生长的夜晚, 让我沉重又茫然 ”
秋日里的Ocean'在这个城市的路口，等待冬天的来临。
我想我还是挡不住思念的潮水，将沉默往心里推
那些枕在肩上重重的惆怅和小小的梦想，总在悠悠的岁月里藏着一些喜悲
沉默之沙，只能让阳光和浪花抚平这或深或浅的伤
只是偶尔我还是会孤独，在灵魂深处，无法抵抗一夜寂寞的冰凉
有些时候相信生命是一条河，
天偉字 
不用任何人说，我也知道，我现在应该在床上，睡觉。
但是，我睡不着。只想一个人的逃离．有点可悲. 只想飞到一个陌生的地方．今夜' 什么时候才能安静的睡去。或者不再醒来。是否＿＿＿明天又将会是新的一天.
(Let's faith determine where your next destination) November, 2006 
記得以前同家姐' 我............................ : ( 過去就系過去。今晚接到妳的電話’我心又想起．．．．．．．．．．． : ( Forget it, u are leaving a wonderful life. I am just a kid in yr eyes. When can i ever grow up infront of u ? November, 2006 
Time is very important in everyone life's. What if time passed out ? What if there is no time left ? What if there is a time when u made a mistake then ended up in the cave for the rest of your life ? Can this be a mystery ? Does it mean this person is already losing it ability and life toward the world. Loneliness came from a dark side somewhere in your body. It separate instantly that it can alter a big change in your decision. Therefore, the following step is placing one world into this other world, which' the imaginary image will consist only as an paint object. What was painted there will tell u the clued of what the image symbolize for. A male suddenly walk into a strange place which he cannot find the exit to. At this moment, the lady of Loneliness spread her hand inside her cave and reach the person with tears and memory's. All of an suddenly, ( It was just dream ) 1 night had pass, waking up was not the reality. However, the mysterious man was trying to step back into the strange place and reached for the cave and said " ( There is no need to hide , Come Out , And everything will never be the same again. ) Apparently, the lady of Loneliness only showed her half side to the mysterious man. Then once again, she entered back into the cave of darkness. But the gentalmen did not know, The cave symbolize happiness. "She walk her way, u walk yr way". We are from 2 different world. Not bcs i hated u, This time u pay me the last visit, and this visit will be inside my heart for the rest of my life. Deos ia layo comesie si dero anis't di osie... P.S H, C, S, H, Y HU " ( Not only letter is hard to type and hard to write. While typing the letter's i ............" ) November, 2006
近一年来自己很少写字，主要原因是觉得自己不够沉静；没有能力去构思一个理性的逻辑；所想所写并不能真实表达自己的内心。偶尔在博客上涂写一些小情绪，变成文字也散散落落。
年少曾追求华丽文字，以为那就是自己表达内心浮躁的方式，只是慢慢发现，孤独的人依旧孤独，不寂寞的人佯装寂寞。并不想刻意去否定曾经的自己，在那些稚嫩文字的背后是那无法停留的懵懂岁月。
 October, 2006
 When Life comes to an end, you never know which way is the paths to exit. Life comes around and turns around. What is left for us to deal with tomorrow ? For me, everything I wanted to say does not need to say anymore. Not bcs I don't want to say, is bcs there is no purpose for me to say it. When Life comes to an end, all that left for me to do is wait. waiting for someone to judge me. I also want to ask him a simple question, Why are we here? why are we here in life ? Did I do the right thing while I was on earth ? Did I walk to a right direction ? I will find out my answer very soon. All that left for me now is to wait.
長夜漫漫‘心中無限痛苦’我的心情跌到谷底,也只是轻描淡 写的说给身边的朋友听,隐忍的表情, 不动声色,内心的暗涌,不 露痕迹,那些突然跳出来的画面, 象无序的电影胶片 一闪而过. 那些注定会发生的事情, 常常让人无能为力, 伤逝湮灭. 有些事 已行将结束, 有些人还挥之不去,只有香烟, 会一直陪在我身边, 不离不弃. 其實’世事萬千轉, 人生如夢, 回想前塵往事, 彷如 是一條漫長人生路, 但一殺那就彷如怍天事。
在我人生當中‘ 有很多事情我都做不到, 每一個人都有某方面 的才能’做不到亦不等如失敗. 生和死的中間’我在塵世間裡掙 扎’委屈地去過一生. 我带着迷茫的淚水在寒冷的街中獨行. 但 是‘我可以說一句’我很開心。然而’我會帶著微笑的聲音’去渡過我每一天的人生。
人生真的很無奈’誰知道命運是早己註定。遊遊盪盪的我‘忍著憎恨的眼淚對這個現實的世界說一聲’從此,我也不再是自己。 October, 2006 
在灰暗的深夜里压马路，一个人走了长长一段路；沿着直线，走过一家又一家没有打佯的小餐馆，一步步丈量没有尽头的荒凉。路边的车呼啸而过，孤单的路上自由的孤单。
穿过霓虹灯的夜，穿过空荡的地铁隧道。灯火通明的街道已慢慢暗淡，天空渐渐泛白，我和你擦身而过，只是陌生的某某。当了多年的朋友，我的眼神你是否能够明了？
一个一个偶像不外如此，沉迷过的偶像一个个消失，最后剩下自己，舍不得挑剔。原来，自以为是也是一种恩赐。那曾经的信仰，那曾经的膜拜，那曾经的虔诚，到最后，也不过是一场华丽的谢幕。Now, I must 找一个出口，生命的下一站已抵达。
I ya, forgot update blog and no time.! 多年未在家过中秋节，这样的节日气氛让我感觉安心。如孩童时一样，在空地上燃放烟花，快乐有时候可以很简单。一束光亮足已照亮虔诚的脸庞。 与母亲前往庙里祈福，阳光里，烟火和尘埃起舞，而我是多年前那个顽皮的小孩。你说把手心合起来，诚心跪拜。这么多年来，你的叮咛，你的关怀，一切都还在。只是为什么你的发角竟有了一丝丝的斑白。 在归来的车上沉睡，醒来发现你温柔的眼神，我假装转过身去；眼角的泪才明白你当年的爱。你的背影和温暖的手心印刻在心里，从未离开。 我带着迷茫和无奈一路走过来，如今，我不是小孩。but, let's 上月 and 食 Moon Cake ;p  October, 2006
一口煙的時間’回憶逝去的往事’在這一刻我比死更加痛苦,在漆黑的街道上’我究竟要轉去哪一個路口? 金錢’地位’
職位’社會的立足’種種的事物’對我已不再重要. 最重要是當我老的時候’我能打開本字典’我可以同自己說一聲’
我是孤身走我路. 好了’ 我已點完最後一支煙’ 情景已經不如往昔’一去不復返’ 你的聲音已經漸漸地失去了。
每一次我点起烟’就想起你。
把烟蒂弹向夜空’没有半点留恋。
你就那么不经心’看着我一笑。
那一刻 我知道’有些事总逃不了。
每一次你点起烟’会想起谁。
是我吗 让我们一起’做着一样的动作。
与你竟然这么近’却又那么远。
你走了 我只好’这样怀念你的手。
就用一根烟的去间想念谁。
浪费了几分钟的感情’计算之内我不会太累。
只有你能看穿我的逞强’笑我姿势不成熟。
吸了烟却呼出了眼泪’听着火机挞的一声把快乐燃起了。
看着烟圈慢慢随风飘散’应该知道 我要放手了 。 October, 2006 
So, what u think ? huh ? what u think huh ? Sorry, My English No No good.!
( Quote ) " Rice is like our mother and father, So don't fuck with my family Yo!!!!!"
( Quote ) " 学发哥话斋:退一步海阔天空"
( Quote ) "做男人可以风流吾可以下流" September, 2006  生日快樂 Today is September, 24. 2006. Here it is. My birthday. : ) let's talk about my life from the past. I am not a very successful person, but i like to find peace in life. About my past, when i was small my mom use to given me the best things in my life During that certain time in HK, not much family can afford their child. But i was lucky, I wear brand name clotheings and i get what i wanted. Reminiscent by the time when my mom brought me a pair of K-swiss shoes which cost about 800 Hk dollers. She use to take me to the Restaurant (Malaysian Public)beside Tseng E Road to eat western steak almost nearly everyday. My mom is a very sucessful and carrer lady, she used her voices to attract many people to listen to her songs and music carrer. Apparently, i was a spoil brat. Even she gave me about 100 dollers everyday for my lunch money. at that time. bcs of this situation, my attidute and lifestyle became really worse. I look down at other's kids and use money to throw at them. So during that particular time i don't have much friend in elementary school. see kids playing happly outside the yard at lunch break, seeing them play ( jumping airplane ), ( tranfers balls ), running around and play and play (hide and seek). althought i am a rich boy but i was lack of frienship and careness. I remember one time in grade 3 i was eatting lunch in the washroom. Student laugh at me said i use parents money. i don't have ability to learn the things outside the school myself. They were right' Every night when the teacher assign us for an assigment at school, all i do was go home and pay cousin 50 dollers and ask him to finish it for me. eventually, when test and exam comes, i fail almost every class. All the teacher hated my attidute especially in the music class. Everybody was listeing to the teacher teaching them how to play the guitar notes and rhythms. Everyone takes their guitar in hand and played the songs ( jingle Bell ) ( Rain keeps falling on my head ). everyone was jaming. Ridiculiously, and me ? I was pretenting to play the gutiar, and of course, i didn't know anything. When the exams comes the teacher asked me why i was not paying attention in class, and i said i am bored with this course. She sended me to see the princple and the princple kicked me out of the school without hesitation. I had a very bad record at school. Always not handing in homework on time and so on etc.. Afer i was kicked out from school, I started to stay home. Funny my mom didn't want me to go to school as well. She want me to be happy and she let me do what i wanted. during that time then i stay home play video games and watch TV everyday. Eating many junk foods then i gain some weight. : ) After that, i was even dare, i went to Supermarket and steal things. I stole many pencil and cute eraser from some market. Then one time the owner caught me. He didn't call the polices but beside, he was very nice and he told me if i keep this action, my life is finish. I might have no chance to see my mom again. I was crying so loud bcs i didn't realize what he is saying. Then my mother came and rescue me. She was crying, She was crying why her son perform such action in lfe. She doesn't have much time to teach me bcs due to her work. I was rised by my mother sister. Mom sister family was terrible, there wasn't a good enviorment for me to develop good habit. Their family all worked in the night pub as band boys and prositute. Mainly, no one look after me. I just wonder down the street in HK with alot of money. Fortuntely, this stoped very soon. My next door neigbor daugther Sabrina always goes to my school. She was a very beautiful girl when she was small. She asked me why i was home everyday without going to school. Then i said, Come on ! let's come over and play some video games with me. Then for the min there, she was very angry and yelled at me very loud, you can't be like this for the rest of yr life, you got to stop Ben. She taught me alot about life and about school. Later i transfer to her school and i got to see her everyday in class. She sat beside me and teach me all the time. One thing very remarkable is, She gaved me a Lid - pecil. from that time on, i started to enjoy school life and started to make new friends over time bcs of that pencil.Finaly during the time when i was small, I was definitly a spoil kid. My mom gaved me everything. But i love it without regrets. And i have to say, I love you mother from all the things you did for me. Eventhought is very bad for me, but i can't believe you have done that. when i think back the old days, the times is just so sweet, can't even express myself with words...
今日是我生日, 又大一年了. 又大個仔了. 雖然我今天生日, 但很可能我一個人很孤獨很孤單的一個人渡過. 現在還早. 沒甚麼節目. 不知為何,今天我的情緒很空虛很孤獨, 很自然就想起逝去的往事. 我現在很想在這裡用結他彈奏我最喜歡的三首歌去表達我人生經過的路向. 第一首是鄭少秋的(決戰前夕). 這一首是真正浪子的歌. 這首歌講述一個男人要出去捱又要顧家,不知自己生死如何. 現在我就想在電腦面前唱出我的憂愁.
 命运不得我挑选,前途生死自己难断,茫茫沧海身不知处,落叶归根是家园
人如沧海柳叶船,离群隐居自己情愿前途偏偏多挑战,若问吉凶我亦难判断
英雄豪杰,有谁独尊,人虽死情不断,无意赴黄泉,男儿天职保家眷,儿啼妻哭内心撩乱
难寻进退失方寸,前途生死我亦难判断 英雄豪杰,武林认至尊
问生死谁敢怨,含笑到黄泉,前途生死我实难判断...........................................第二首系, (云河 )
The sencond song. Um I forgot how to play this songs already =`( but good thing is i still have my music book =) But this song is suppose to be upsad. My music book had the happy version. So i don't like it =`( I hate it. oh well. I just want to sing.! I will Sing in Low C key.! : ) 一片片白茫茫遥远的云河,像雾般朦胧地掩住了我
我要随着微风飘出云河,勇敢地走出那空虚寂寞云河呀云河,云河里有个我
随风飘过,从没有找到真正的我,一片片白茫茫遥远的云河,像雾般朦胧地掩住了我
我要随着微风飘出云河,勇敢地走出那空虚寂寞...........................................
第三首系 (封锁我一生)
自我封锁半生,只为爱上我的你
爱一次,痛一次,又再深
共你不应结识,或会改写这半生
怎意料,偏偏偶遇
爱极深
人遇上怎麽要分,太多生死热爱与恨
没法一心两分委屈过一生
愿以不死的信心,紧守心中那点放任
若你终不再返,封锁我一生
一生也追问,是我甘心去等
只为我最爱的爱,情路难容别人
全情地继续等,现也辗转等至今
我的痴心永不过份,没法将心再分
偷泣过一生,愿以不死的信心
紧守心中那点放任,若你终不再返
封锁我一生,继续等
-To the People who celebrate with me at work, thank u for celebrating my birthday yesterday. I can't believe Carey cut my cake.! Piss! but i ran away.! I am really sorry. I am not in the mood of celebrating. I hope u guys enjoy a good time. I am not angry. I just like to be alone. but do u think that fake long hair wig is funny? hehe. To all of u, Betty, Sabrina, Lucill, Jenny, Lousie, Sam, teacher Lee, Jason, Benny, Bill, Carey, Janet, YoYo, Iris, Kitty, Ivy, jessica. 肥仔牛. thank u all.
-To my good friends. Susan 一丁 : ). Thx for her 2 lovely greeting card. The songs in the card were wonderful. I love that song so much. card adds are http://card.benison.net/view_card.asp?usid=200692419579896444878&pusb=280031728071&suser=Ben 贺卡领取密码：3531 This is her wish, 天伟，生日快乐！也许我不是第一个送你祝福的人，但我希望我的祝福能最先实现愿你非常可乐，月月舒,希望我是你的幸运星，帮你实现所有的心愿： ）
-The rest to Cindy, Tina, catherine, Black John, Linda, Rebeeca, yuet, Koko, Amy, Canny, Sabrina, CiCi Cousin Auntie Doris, 波仔 阿妲,日本妹 BB fellowship chruch, The rest of FC Team. Special thx to Jessie Chan!
-Finally, Happy Birthday To Myelf.  "The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passion " May memorys last within myself.
P.S Honestly, I was waiting for 1 person from mainland China to say hi and happy birthday. That person never appear. From today on, I Know i can only look at that person in my sadness . May memorys treasure us in mind. BenMing年2408
September, 2006
昨天晚上聊天我覺得好對不起Susan. 因為我無意中傷害了她. 我都不知自己發生了甚麼事情. 我情緒很低落.
首先說說昨天, 昨天我一位好好交情的朋友珊珊 在电话另一端抽泣，刚做完手术，變了流產. 医生说她以后不可能再有孩子了；現在整個身體不能動, 真怕變了植物人. 我拿着电话，不知道应该说什么话好，语言能够慰藉她的伤痛吗？ 昨天我哭了一整天, 我跟珊珊說了, 我馬上飛車到醫院去探她. 她用她的雙手握著我的手 說, [ 天偉.......我以後都不想這樣‘你要幫我啊 ] 但當時她爸爸媽媽都不在醫院. 不說了, 真的不說了. 天啊............
以前常听人说，一个女人最幸福的时刻就是成为母亲。而这样的幸福，她以后都不会再有。是该怨恨给她伤痛的那个男人还是该怜悯她的无知，对于局外人的我们，也许应该认真反思一下自己的生活。
这是一个情感泛滥的时代，我们忠于自己的欲望，忠于自己的渴求，并把这样的追求标榜成自我人性的解放。我们对传统和世俗的反叛，是不是因为我们对自己的置疑，我们是否真的准备好迎接一个个我们未知的事实。不要去说这个时代有多坏，坏的是我们已经迷失了自己，当一个人最大的信仰是他自己的时候，还需要谈什么理想和未来吗？
一波未停’一波又起, 現在說說今天, 我表哥的婆婆今天離開人世. 今天表哥從三藩市回來, 臉上一片淚水. 我們的心情也很沉重. 以前我記得契婆很疼我,
又買衣服讓我穿,又買東西讓我食.今天看見她葬在殯儀館,心情真的要死, 真的一下子忍不住哭下來.
穿黑色西裝白色桖衫的我, 已經又大個仔了..我還幫表哥的媽媽穿衣服, 攬著她大哭起來. 其實, 人生真的很短暫. 我們人生真的可意跳出這條茫茫路嗎?
Momorial Service for Mrs. Wai Fun Law 羅何葸女士.
( 1920-2006 )
Memorial Scripture
Amazing Grace
Amazing grace how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost but now am found was blind but now I see.
T' was grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved.
How precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed!
Thro' many dangers, toils and snares I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far; and grace will lead me home.
When we've been there ten thousand years. Bright shinning as the sun,
We're no less days to sing God's praise Than when we'd first begun.
God guides in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
September, 2006
一种纯洁而令人动容的爱情，事隔那么多年，当再次重温它时，我之所以依旧为它流泪，不是因为它里有很多浪漫的情节，而是单纯为阿华与JOJO之间的淳淳真爱，那种抛开世俗成见与金钱诱惑的爱情，本来就很值得人钦佩，因为在竟争日益强烈的人与人之间信任度日益降低的今日，这种爱情已经很少了，所以才会引起观众如此共鸣和向往。
请珍惜眼前人！ |
天若有情快要结束时，刘德华骑着摩托车载着吴倩莲在高速公路上狂飚，风吹着他鼻中不断流下的鲜血，吹到吴倩莲的身上，镜头的酷，几乎可以与周润发在《纵横四海》中雨水顺着发梢滴到下巴，周冷冷又略微有些讥诮地拭去相媲美。
片中华弟骑着摩托，边飞奔边擦鼻血的一幕，成为这部电影中最为动人的一刻。坐在他后面的吴倩莲穿着洁白的婚纱，裙纱飞舞的瞬间，成为当年女孩儿最为艳羡的精彩时刻. 我们的一生自从娘胎出来哇的一声伊始，就开始忍耐，而糟糕的是，我们已经开始认同这个现实了，所以，终其一生，再没有比我们初降人世更痛快和义无反顾的哭声了。
|
|
|
|
Tools 
Send a private message
Subscribe to RSS feed
Tell a friend
Add to My MSN
Add to your network
Sign up for alerts
Please leave a message! 
